Dimentiosweeper
by superstarultra
Summary: In which our favorite, murderous clown and a whiny, bratty shape-shifter discover Minesweeper, prompting the former to pull a prank.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Mario or any of the below mentioned characters. But if I did, Bowser and the Koopalings would have his own spin-off series.**

**A/N: I don't know where this idea came from. Probably from this Calvin and Hobbes comic I once read that dealt with spontaneous combustion. If this made you smile, then I've done my job.**

* * *

Mimi sat in her favorite spinny-chair, staring at the computer screen. Occasionally she'd click on the ads and pop-ups that appeared, but she ended up deleting them in five seconds. Ugh. Who could have known that the internet could actually become boring at some point?

Castle Bleck had never had anything more technologically complicated than Nastasia's typewriter, but due to Count Bleck having an incident involving a quill pen and him not wearing a monocle at the time, a decision was made. Within three days, a sleek black computer was sitting on the desk in the main foyer.

Everyone had mixed feelings about the newest edition to the family.

Count Bleck felt that it made him feel more "hip" (whatever that meant), Nastasia still favored her old typewriter over it, O' Chunks couldn't even use it due to the over-sized meat-hooks he called hands, Dimentio looked at it once before leaving to attend to his own little "projects", and Mimi loved it.

Actually "loved" was an understatement.

She WORSHIPPED it. criticism

For the first week, Mimi had been on the computer typing away nonstop. Not on any of the memos Nastasia had assigned her, but on various e-mails she'd sent to her internet buddies. She also downloaded several of her favorite songs onto it, which resulted in a cornucopia of racket and the eventual purchase of headphones. Nastasia worried about Mimi's sudden internet addiction, but Count Bleck dismissed the issue.

"Girls will be girls said Count Bleck," he said to his assistant.

However, today was quite different.

The young green shape-shifter had logged on to find out that none of her online friends were active today. In an attempt to defeat boredom, Mimi had begun clicking on the computer's main menu when she found an interesting option.

"Oooh, games! I like games!" she squeaked in excitement.

"Did someone say games?"

Mimi quickly turned her head and was instantly faced with a black and white face complete with a half-moon smile a few inches from her own face.

"Oh, it's just you Dimentio." sighed Mimi, immediately turning back to face the screen.

"Yes, just me Mimi. Cute as a newborn Yoshi, Dimentio!" announced the jester doing a mock bow, whilst throwing a handful of confetti into the air. The only response he received was Mimi brushing some of his precious confetti off the keyboard. The nerve of some people!

"What are you doing, my dear Mimikins?" Dimentio asked, peering over her shoulder.

"Just trying to see if this computer came with anything fun games on it. What did you think I was doing?" Mimi replied, scrolling down the list of games.

"Oh. Girls your age are always into whatever's popular at the time. You change fads faster than high school drama pairings in the final season!" Dimentio answered, proud of himself for his latest simile. That would be his eighth one today.

Still pretending to listen, Mimi began to read out the names of some of the available games.

"Hearts?"

That sounded nice. Maybe it had cute boys in it!

Just as she was about to click it, she realized Dimentio had moved the mouse to keep her from clicking her option. He was currently holding it by the cable and giving her an eerie smile.

"Hey, what's the big idea, Dimentio! You'll break it!" she yelled at him.

"But Mimikins, I'm only trying to help you like a boy scout helps an elderly woman cross the street. You wouldn't have liked Hearts anyway," he answered in a playful tone.

"Oh, and why not?"

"It's a card game."

"Are you serious, clown boy?"

In response to this, Dimentio lowered his face so he was eye to eye with Mimi. The gesture itself was quite disturbing.

"Why, of course, Mimi. I'm always serious about everything. Deadly serious," he spoke in a voice that didn't even waver from his usual light-hearted tone.

Rats. Mimi highly disliked card games. They required concentration, a skill she obviously lacked, and were overall, just plain icky. Besides, Dimentio got pretty uppity if you disagreed with him. She scrolled down the list to the next one.

"Solitaire?"

"Another card game."

"Spider Solitaire?"

"Card game with spiders."

"How about Pinball?"

"Exactly the same as its 3-D counterpart."

"How do you even know what they're about? You haven't even used the computer!" yelled an exasperated Mimi.

"The answer is as easy as a kindergarten spelling test, my hot-blood princess. I'm physic," said the harlequin, examining his gloved hands like a socialite.

"You read the instruction book the day we got it, huh?" retorted Mimi.

"........."

It was at that point in the silence, that Mimi noticed a game she hadn't clicked on: Minesweeper.

With a click of the mouse, a large gray grid had appeared onscreen. A timer and a counter with an odd grey object next to it had appeared as well. To top it all off, there was little yellow smiley face perched on top of the grid.

"Oh, look, Mimi!" said Dimentio, pointing a black gloved finger at the smiley face, "It's a long-lost relative of yours! Ah ha ha ha ha ha!"

Mimi gave him her trademark look of death. It didn't do anything except make him laugh harder. In an adorable fit of rage, Mimi's tiny fist struck the mouse causing a gray panel onscreen to be clicked. It should also be noted that Mimi had forgotten to turn off the speakers.

_BOOM!_

Dimentio, who's head had been right next to the speakers at the time, jumped three feet into the air in surprise. He clutched both sides of his head in obvious discomfort.

Mimi had to clutch her sides, too, due to her laughing like a hyena at the sight.

"Mimimimimimimimimimi!" she giggled, "You should've seen the look on your face!"

The moment his hearing returned, Dimentio glared at Mimi. He was clearly not amused.

"That wasn't funny at all."

"Oh, yes it was!"

"Well, I guess that like top-quality chefs, we both have different tastes," Dimentio said, turning the computer's volume to the OFF switch. He then turned and proceeded to levitate his way out of the living room. Before exiting into the dark hallway, he turned his face halfway to Mimi.

"I won't spoil the rules of Minesweeper for you Mimi, but don't play too long. I've heard stories of creatures who spent days playing the game without getting up to eat, drink, or even sleep. They became its slaves. In fact, there are some beliefs that state that with every mine you uncover, an explosive in real life detonates too," he cryptically said.

"If you're trying to freak me out, than that was really lame." replied Mimi.

"...It was worth a shot then. Ciao!" And with those parting words, the jester turned to leave in another one of his cube-like portals.

Shrugging, Mimi went back to her game. Just to spite him she purposely clicked on another panel, smiling happily when it revealed a mine.

What happened next, she hadn't even expected.

_**BLAMMO!!!**_

Mimi's pigtails blew forwards and she felt a sudden rise of heat behind her. Turning around, she gasped.

An enormous, black stain covered the floor like a broken snowflake (how Mimi was able to see it against the equally black floor would forever remain a mystery). She stared at it for several seconds before coming to a sound conclusion.

"I blew up Dimentio."

She blinked.

A few seconds of stunned silence.

And then....

"YAY!!! DIMENTIO IS GONE!!! WAIT TILL' NASSY, O' CHUNKS, AND THE COUNT HEAR ABOUT THIS!!! MIMIMIMI!!!" Mimi cackled in her odd-sounding laugh, running out of the room to tell her friends the good news.

Seconds later, Dimentio rematerialized, wearing a disappointed scowl under his mask. His box-explosion had frightened the shape-shifter like he had expected. He had just expected an _entirely _different reaction from Mimi. He wasn't sure whether to feel sorry for himself or get even with her.

....

The latter.

Definitely.

He snickered vilely to himself before he hovered over to the computer and sat in the chair.

"And now...." he announced in a voice oozing with contentment, "to read her secret blog and make hilarious comments on her fanfics. Ah ha ha ha~..."

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**A/N: Oh, man, I love Dimentio. He's just so good at being a loveable jerk. And I'm pretty sure Mimi would be totally happy if she killed him like that. :P **

**Reviews are welcome. **


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